It's A Happy BLEACH HALLOWEEN!!!!
Why I sometimes feel like I'm going crazy
9 years ago
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Turn Back The Pendulum 10
Psyduck--That one's for Mike [:So. I wrote a note on facebook, and decided to somewhat copy Natasha and post it here [: Along with my usual random pics/ vids/ whatever ;P
TEN things I wish I could say to 10 different people:
1. Hi [: I love you. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me.. I don't know how I ever found you.. When we first met, I would've given anything just to be your friend. You're just soooo perfect for me. You're an actress, you're a drummer, you wear converse.. I don't even know what else to say about you... I can't express these feelings well enough [: I love you E>
2. Fuck you. I can't stand you, brah. 'Cept for the fact that I absolutely love you, man. You're my best friend. We're exactly the same. Except, of course, for that one small difference, that, although I always give you shit for it, I can't quite remember it [; We both know I gotta problem, dude. But, even when you ditch me for months at a time, I know that if I really needed your help, I got it. You're my brother from no other mother. We're bound to have the same birthday, and we can say that 'cuz you don't know when yours is ;P You and I are one and the same. I love you, bro. Come back ]:
3. I LOVE YOU, SISSY!!! :D You're always there for me, more than any other girl ever has been. Through all the crazy girls I've gone through, you've stood there and watched my back, helped me keep my heart mostly in tact. I know there was only so much you could do from the other side of the country, but you still managed to do every bit of it. I don't know how I could ever repay you for remaining my bestest friend since 3rd grade. We know that we're both crazy, just for puttin' up with one another :D I love ya!
4. You're probably one of my newest best friends. Just met ya this summer, and now we hang out all the time. Or.. At least as much as both our incomes allow.. :P We've had a bunch of good times, dealing with each other less-than-intelligent moments, 'Leaving Iowa,' strkie for 'Fuddy Meers.' Plenty of other times. I envy you a lot. I think you're really talented in acting, really sociable and good at making friends, I sometimes wish I was more like you. You kick ass, and 'I love you, Man' [; (Even if I still haven't seen that movie, as much as you insist :P )
5. We used to be really close. Then, shit happened. I know what people said, I know what everyone said. I know all the assumptions and accusations amde about me, but I don't care. I know how I felt and I didn't just use you. I really liked you. Really. You helped me become unbroken. You were my best friend for the longest time. I'm glad we're able to fix some shit up now. Makes my life easier, not having to deal with so much drama; or at least makes it so I don't have drama to ignore ;P (Hopefully, that didn't sound mean..?)
6. Ahhhh!!! You owe me sex! You pinkie-promised! JK............ For now [; I know you're BF would get upset if you had sex with, supposedly, a 'gay' guy. Maybe Brian and I should feel special he worries ;P though he probably does about all guys, so we're not that special... But!! You're probably my best friend at the school. More than Brian, 'cuz we hate him [; Not really, but it's a nice thought! You and I hang out more than he and I do. Plus, we don't have many more friends than outside that little loop, and I think he knows like.. Everybody! God! We talked about it the other day, you always have more fun with me [: I make things an adventure ;D Or at least try.. :P Obviously, I love, even when I try and say I hate you and you call me on it :l
Ex's I've decided to leave 'Un-Tagged'
7. You. My God. I fucking hate you. I thought you were my world. For nearly a year, you were. You cheated on me. Once with my best friend. And however many times after that? I don't even know. We tried, over and over. I kept trying to get you're affection back. But, you were way too interested in all the other guys. Even this summer. We had a really good relationship. We even made these extensive plans into trying again, but even when we tried committing to each other, you still couldn't keep your mind set on me. You had to go to all these other guys, and then, like it mattered, tried to make me think it was only me. But I knew. I'm not an idiot. You made it clear on your MySpace. Which, by the way, I don't feel creepy about lurking on, because, technically, we were a thing. Whatever. You're doomed to live a loveless life. You just want a quick fix. You don't know how to commit.
8. I'm really only mentioning you for one reason. It's because I have one thing to say to you, something I feel you deserve an explanation for. It's probably the shittiest thing I've ever done as a human being. I stopped liking you, wayyyy before I made those dumb promises, which, another guilt, I made because I thought I could find some stability if I'd run away. And the reason for that is--- You're the single most illiterate girl I've ever met, let alone dated. Don't get me wrong You're really nice, and you're fairly cute..? I never thought you were as gorgeous as everyone else seemed to rave about. But, I don't know.. It was just the biggest thing that has ever made me become unattracted to a girl.. And I feel you just deserve to know that. Which is why I'm saying it here, where you'll never read it. 'Cuz I'm pretty sure you don't even have Facebook. Thanks for ratting me out, by the way, when I ran away. If you hadn't, I wouldn't be where I am. I'd be in the shit hole called Fallon, NV.
9.You. Girl. You had me. Real good. I don't know how I fell for you so hard. You were just so different from any girl I'd ever met. It was one of the most appealing traits I've ever known in a person. I really miss hanging out with you, talking to you. I was totally into you, cihickie. I kinda felt like a pedophile, being that you were 3 years or so younger than me, but you never seemed that young. You're a lot older than your age says. I don't know how else to say anything to you. You intimidated me. I was actually worried about messing things up all the time. We had too little time together. That was both our faults. We both made mistakes. You'll always have a good place in my heart, though. You're one of the few to hold a lasting effect on me. A positive one, at least. I love you for that [:
10. Fuck... What am I supposed to say at this juncture? What is there to say about you? I love you, I hate you.. Everything in between I have felt about you. You're the girl I was with longer than any other.. We shared so much with each other.. I know I don't really matter in your life anymore.. And, for the most part, you don't matter in mine. But, lately.. I don't know.. I've just felt some kind of empty pit hollowing through my insides everytime I think about you. I don't know what's going on. I can't tell what we have going on here. It's like, half-friendship, half-nothing. I suppose that fits though, after being out of one anothers lives for so long.. I kinda wish we could've ended things better.. No.. I really wish we could have. I feel like I want you in my life. I want you there, even if it's just as a good friend. I find myself really wanting to talk to you lately. My heart went out to you the other night. At work.. When you came in and we talked as I BS'd in dining for about half an hour just so you could talk to me. I'm always here. I just wish you took advantage of that sometimes.. /: I don't know how I feel about you at this point, but i know now that I do love you. In one way, or another.
NINE things about myself:
1. I keep a lot of things bottled up; feelings, secrets, etc.
2. I'm scared of having no friends..
3. I'm scared of not being liked.. I just want to be a likable person.
4. I'm scared of growing old and getting feeble and becoming unable to do things I can now...
5. Typically, the harder I try not to fall in love, the faster I do.
6. Final Fantasy is my favorite game series, ever. Anything tied to it, as well. Such as other Square Soft/Enix games
7. The only manga/anime I enjoy anymore is Bleach, and it's the shit.
8. I love to eat 'Just Bunches' ; It's the best cereal in all of existence
9. I take pride in recognizing a large majority of actors/ actresses, musicians, etc.
EIGHT ways to win my heart:
1. Food [:
2. Be funny
3. Wear Converse
4. Like my music, or something I could like as well
5. Act
6. Drum
7. Be outgoing in a relationship
8. Keep my heart from tearing apart....
SEVEN things that cross my mind a lot:
1. Shelbi [:
2. Love.
3. My desperate money-need..
4. Texting, wishing people talked to me more :P
5. .... /:
6. Fitting in..
7. My physical appearance
SIX things I do before I fall asleep:
1. Plug in my phone, constantly checking it.
2. Plug in anything else that needs to be charged.
3.Check the internet; Facebook, MySpace, Blogger, Etc.
4. Make sure my homework is done.
5. Strip down 'til I'm comfortable :P
6. Get comfortable in my bed, or wherever I'm sleeping, and relax.
FIVE people [or groups of people] who mean a lot.
1. Shelbi
2. Elias
3. Caitlin
4. Family
5. Yea...
FOUR things you're wearing right now.
1. Dark-blue Aeropostle shirt I've had for a couple years..
2. 'Express Jeans' jeans that have a huge rip on my thigh
3. Tights I wear for Fundamentals, so my legs don't freeze from the rip
4. Two different socks and some brand of underwear
THREE songs that you listen to often. [Currently]
1. Replay by Iyaz
2. The Curse of Curves by Cute Is What We Aim For
3. Down by Jay Sean, ft. Lil' Wayne
TWO things you want to do before you die.
1) Have my own family
2) Live life extremely
ONE confession.
1. I'm terrified of not knowing what I want, which sometimes leads me to think I want things i don't... /:
1. Hi [: I love you. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me.. I don't know how I ever found you.. When we first met, I would've given anything just to be your friend. You're just soooo perfect for me. You're an actress, you're a drummer, you wear converse.. I don't even know what else to say about you... I can't express these feelings well enough [: I love you E>
2. Fuck you. I can't stand you, brah. 'Cept for the fact that I absolutely love you, man. You're my best friend. We're exactly the same. Except, of course, for that one small difference, that, although I always give you shit for it, I can't quite remember it [; We both know I gotta problem, dude. But, even when you ditch me for months at a time, I know that if I really needed your help, I got it. You're my brother from no other mother. We're bound to have the same birthday, and we can say that 'cuz you don't know when yours is ;P You and I are one and the same. I love you, bro. Come back ]:
3. I LOVE YOU, SISSY!!! :D You're always there for me, more than any other girl ever has been. Through all the crazy girls I've gone through, you've stood there and watched my back, helped me keep my heart mostly in tact. I know there was only so much you could do from the other side of the country, but you still managed to do every bit of it. I don't know how I could ever repay you for remaining my bestest friend since 3rd grade. We know that we're both crazy, just for puttin' up with one another :D I love ya!
4. You're probably one of my newest best friends. Just met ya this summer, and now we hang out all the time. Or.. At least as much as both our incomes allow.. :P We've had a bunch of good times, dealing with each other less-than-intelligent moments, 'Leaving Iowa,' strkie for 'Fuddy Meers.' Plenty of other times. I envy you a lot. I think you're really talented in acting, really sociable and good at making friends, I sometimes wish I was more like you. You kick ass, and 'I love you, Man' [; (Even if I still haven't seen that movie, as much as you insist :P )
5. We used to be really close. Then, shit happened. I know what people said, I know what everyone said. I know all the assumptions and accusations amde about me, but I don't care. I know how I felt and I didn't just use you. I really liked you. Really. You helped me become unbroken. You were my best friend for the longest time. I'm glad we're able to fix some shit up now. Makes my life easier, not having to deal with so much drama; or at least makes it so I don't have drama to ignore ;P (Hopefully, that didn't sound mean..?)
6. Ahhhh!!! You owe me sex! You pinkie-promised! JK............ For now [; I know you're BF would get upset if you had sex with, supposedly, a 'gay' guy. Maybe Brian and I should feel special he worries ;P though he probably does about all guys, so we're not that special... But!! You're probably my best friend at the school. More than Brian, 'cuz we hate him [; Not really, but it's a nice thought! You and I hang out more than he and I do. Plus, we don't have many more friends than outside that little loop, and I think he knows like.. Everybody! God! We talked about it the other day, you always have more fun with me [: I make things an adventure ;D Or at least try.. :P Obviously, I love, even when I try and say I hate you and you call me on it :l
Ex's I've decided to leave 'Un-Tagged'
7. You. My God. I fucking hate you. I thought you were my world. For nearly a year, you were. You cheated on me. Once with my best friend. And however many times after that? I don't even know. We tried, over and over. I kept trying to get you're affection back. But, you were way too interested in all the other guys. Even this summer. We had a really good relationship. We even made these extensive plans into trying again, but even when we tried committing to each other, you still couldn't keep your mind set on me. You had to go to all these other guys, and then, like it mattered, tried to make me think it was only me. But I knew. I'm not an idiot. You made it clear on your MySpace. Which, by the way, I don't feel creepy about lurking on, because, technically, we were a thing. Whatever. You're doomed to live a loveless life. You just want a quick fix. You don't know how to commit.
8. I'm really only mentioning you for one reason. It's because I have one thing to say to you, something I feel you deserve an explanation for. It's probably the shittiest thing I've ever done as a human being. I stopped liking you, wayyyy before I made those dumb promises, which, another guilt, I made because I thought I could find some stability if I'd run away. And the reason for that is--- You're the single most illiterate girl I've ever met, let alone dated. Don't get me wrong You're really nice, and you're fairly cute..? I never thought you were as gorgeous as everyone else seemed to rave about. But, I don't know.. It was just the biggest thing that has ever made me become unattracted to a girl.. And I feel you just deserve to know that. Which is why I'm saying it here, where you'll never read it. 'Cuz I'm pretty sure you don't even have Facebook. Thanks for ratting me out, by the way, when I ran away. If you hadn't, I wouldn't be where I am. I'd be in the shit hole called Fallon, NV.
9.You. Girl. You had me. Real good. I don't know how I fell for you so hard. You were just so different from any girl I'd ever met. It was one of the most appealing traits I've ever known in a person. I really miss hanging out with you, talking to you. I was totally into you, cihickie. I kinda felt like a pedophile, being that you were 3 years or so younger than me, but you never seemed that young. You're a lot older than your age says. I don't know how else to say anything to you. You intimidated me. I was actually worried about messing things up all the time. We had too little time together. That was both our faults. We both made mistakes. You'll always have a good place in my heart, though. You're one of the few to hold a lasting effect on me. A positive one, at least. I love you for that [:
10. Fuck... What am I supposed to say at this juncture? What is there to say about you? I love you, I hate you.. Everything in between I have felt about you. You're the girl I was with longer than any other.. We shared so much with each other.. I know I don't really matter in your life anymore.. And, for the most part, you don't matter in mine. But, lately.. I don't know.. I've just felt some kind of empty pit hollowing through my insides everytime I think about you. I don't know what's going on. I can't tell what we have going on here. It's like, half-friendship, half-nothing. I suppose that fits though, after being out of one anothers lives for so long.. I kinda wish we could've ended things better.. No.. I really wish we could have. I feel like I want you in my life. I want you there, even if it's just as a good friend. I find myself really wanting to talk to you lately. My heart went out to you the other night. At work.. When you came in and we talked as I BS'd in dining for about half an hour just so you could talk to me. I'm always here. I just wish you took advantage of that sometimes.. /: I don't know how I feel about you at this point, but i know now that I do love you. In one way, or another.
NINE things about myself:
1. I keep a lot of things bottled up; feelings, secrets, etc.
2. I'm scared of having no friends..
3. I'm scared of not being liked.. I just want to be a likable person.
4. I'm scared of growing old and getting feeble and becoming unable to do things I can now...
5. Typically, the harder I try not to fall in love, the faster I do.
6. Final Fantasy is my favorite game series, ever. Anything tied to it, as well. Such as other Square Soft/Enix games
7. The only manga/anime I enjoy anymore is Bleach, and it's the shit.
8. I love to eat 'Just Bunches' ; It's the best cereal in all of existence
9. I take pride in recognizing a large majority of actors/ actresses, musicians, etc.
EIGHT ways to win my heart:
1. Food [:
2. Be funny
3. Wear Converse
4. Like my music, or something I could like as well
5. Act
6. Drum
7. Be outgoing in a relationship
8. Keep my heart from tearing apart....
SEVEN things that cross my mind a lot:
1. Shelbi [:
2. Love.
3. My desperate money-need..
4. Texting, wishing people talked to me more :P
5. .... /:
6. Fitting in..
7. My physical appearance
SIX things I do before I fall asleep:
1. Plug in my phone, constantly checking it.
2. Plug in anything else that needs to be charged.
3.Check the internet; Facebook, MySpace, Blogger, Etc.
4. Make sure my homework is done.
5. Strip down 'til I'm comfortable :P
6. Get comfortable in my bed, or wherever I'm sleeping, and relax.
FIVE people [or groups of people] who mean a lot.
1. Shelbi
2. Elias
3. Caitlin
4. Family
5. Yea...
FOUR things you're wearing right now.
1. Dark-blue Aeropostle shirt I've had for a couple years..
2. 'Express Jeans' jeans that have a huge rip on my thigh
3. Tights I wear for Fundamentals, so my legs don't freeze from the rip
4. Two different socks and some brand of underwear
THREE songs that you listen to often. [Currently]
1. Replay by Iyaz
2. The Curse of Curves by Cute Is What We Aim For
3. Down by Jay Sean, ft. Lil' Wayne
TWO things you want to do before you die.
1) Have my own family
2) Live life extremely
ONE confession.
1. I'm terrified of not knowing what I want, which sometimes leads me to think I want things i don't... /:
And that's that [: Not much more to add to this particular blog.. I'll post again when I've got something more interesting or whatever :P
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---------------------------Eevee-------------------------Scyther-------------------------------
Monday, October 26, 2009
The Last Of A Void War
I just keep practicing,
saying goodbye to you
So... It seems like this may be it.. The end of a backless fight that has lasted the past 9-10 months... Between me and Zoey.
Zoey. What else am I supposed to say about Zoey? Since we broke up.. There's just been a tremendous and endless amount of tension between us. Harsh tension. But, within this past week or so, we've kinda been talking. When it started, I was kinda upset, irritated, wondering how we could just move on from everything that has happened, and just attempting to be the best of friends. But now, I don't know.. It feels kinda.. Nice..? Honestly. We're not BEST friends, but it's like we're good friends.. After all the arguments and animosity, I actually feel myself enjoying friendship, with the girl I once believed I'd spend my whole life with.
- "I miss talking to you.." -Zoey
- "Then.. Talk to me..." -Me
It's probably the last thing I expected her to say to me. But, it kinda put a pit inside my stomach. It was just.. Different. In a very familiar way. I'm a contradictory person, if any of you haven't noticed by now. So, basically, for the past couple days, we've been tryin to catch each other on Facebook and stuff.. She came into Culver's the other day while I was working, so I sat in the dining room for a while, 'cleaning' tables and floors and such.. We had a nice chat.. Good laughs.. She told me some serious stuff, and those things, I believe, are what finally got me. I felt that old sympathy for her.. The kind I used to feel when we used to talk about problems going on in each others lives.. Make no mistake! I'm not going to go down that whole road of falling for her again; her and I aren't a pair. I've got my Shelbi now. I'm super content [: But, I just felt for her. I didn't pity her, I sympathized.
Anyway.. Thought I'd just get that out there.. Felt like it was a pretty major, new thing going on.. Other than that.. Not too much lately.. Hoping to find a new job down here so I don't have to travel an hour to work and an hour back everytime, spending 90% of my money on gas.. -_- I'm so in debt at this present juncture... ]: Mreh. Hopefully, I'll get to see Shelbi tomorrow, she was up in Alexandria all weekend so I barely got to even talk to her... /: Bah. Dumb Alexandria school...... :P Anywho.
Time for cool pics!! Commentssss!!! :D On any of this! [:
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Making Good Relations, OK?
This is quite possiblyone of the cutest
things ever
:D
So [: Relationships have been strengthened. It's really nice. These people used to be major parts of my life. When they hated me, I simply stopped caring, so it was if they weren't there in my life anymore. But now that BOTH of them have become friends of mine once again, I realize how nice it is to care about them again. Just as friends.. But still.. [:
- Natasha--- She really helped me through a bunch of stuff with Zoey. I really, REALLY liked her. But, everyone thinks I used her, that I was just playing her. Sometimes I think that if maybe that IS what I had done... Then maybe life would've been easier. Idk.. That way, I wouldn't have actually cared, and I wouldn't have been so hurt when people actually started making those accusations.. But whatevs.. It's in the past now [:
- Zoey--- Here's the kicker. Never thought her and I were ever going to talk civilly again. I'm pretty sure her parents still don't even want her talking to me. Understandable. I put her through a bunch of shit before everything blew up. But, we've had our highs and lows since then, and I think everything is finally good again, civility, that is :P
So. I really just want to point out that I'm glad ammends could be made between these two [: That's all... -.-
I really enjoy that ugly duckling.. Idk quite why. It's just incredibly adorable :D I wish I had an actual ugly duckling JUST LIKE that one that I could take care of and raise into a beautiful swan ^.^ Maybe that's how some relationships are. Like these for example. For a while they were really, EXTREMELY ugly-duckling-relationships. But maybe now they can grow and become something beautiful again. Friendship is indeed a beautiful thing [: It makes me happy to have friends. Really happy.
Life just seems to be going really well right now, in general. Friendships being rekindled. Cathcin' up in school. 'Bout to start looking for a job in town so I can actually make decent profit from working. And, as always, Shelbi.
Shelbi.
Shelbi.
Shelbi.
Shelbi Lynne :D I'm so in love with her.. She's got, as stated earlier in a conversation, my thump-thump completely and wholly in her possession now [: It's not even my own anymore. It BELONGS to her [: Everything between us is amazing. No fights, iiiiiincredible physicality, ability to flirt or not flirt and still be completely caught up in one another... ^.^ I honestly couldn't ask for anything, or anyone, better in my life, now or ever.
Anywho. I'm gonna go find a nice movie to enjoy [: Unfortunately, I went to watch my Pirates of the Caribbean: At Worlds End movie, and my DVD wasn't in the case D: Maybe I'll watch Mike's The Number 23 movie.. [: Never seen all of it need something exciting.
Well! Until again!!!
{PEACE}
P.S. - I'd like to re-iterate the point I first made when creating this blog; I would REALLY appreciate feedback, comments, or just a 'I still read your blog' so I know I'm not hopelessly talking [: I just love seeing that I have comments.. Thanks! And now I shall leave you with an interesting thing [:
{{{}{PEACE}{}}}
Again... :P
A video from my favorite podcast; Radio Lab
[Psst... We're watchin' 300 :P]
Monday, October 12, 2009
A Curse Named Love
Curse of Curves
I've got the gift of one liners
And you've got the curse of curves
And with this gift I compose words
And the question that comes forward
Are you perspiring from the irony
Or sweating to these lyrics
And this just in
You're a dead fit
But my wit won't allow it
The inside lingo had me at hello
And we go where the money goes
The inside lingo had me at hello
And we go where the money goes
I want someone provocative and talkative
But it's so hard when you're shallow as a shower
And from what I've heard with skin you'll win
Her bone structure screams
"Touch her! Touch her!"
And she's got the curse of curves
So with the combination of my gift with one liners
And my way
My way with words
It seems I'm too hip to keep tight lipped
And you're on the gossip team
You're making something out of nothing
And jealousy's the cousin, the cousin of greed
The inside lingo had me at hello
And we go where the money goes
The inside lingo had me at hello
And we go where the money goes
I want someone provocative and talkative
But it's so hard when you're shallow as a shower
And from what I've heard with skin you'll win
Her bone structure screams
"Touch her! Touch her!"
And she's got the curse, the curse of:
From what I've heard with skin you'll win
We all have teeth that can bite underneath
To where the reality grows
Yeah, that's where mine go
That's where mine go
We all have teeth that can bite underneath
To where the reality grows
Yeah that's where mine go
Where the reality grows
From what I've heard with skin you'll win
And from what I've heard with skin you'll win
I want someone provocative and talkative
But it's so hard when you're shallow as a shower
And from what I've heard with skin you'll win
Her bone structure screams
"Touch her! Touch her!"
And she's got the curse, the curse of:
From what I've heard with skin you'll win
With skin you'll win
Skin you'll win
Saturday, October 10, 2009
They Died for Vengeance | | | For the Sake of Revenge, Lead Us to Death
Through the Back. ~
~
Sometimes things never change. Sometimes everything changes. Sometimes it's all the same, changing and the same all at once. I find this hindering to a life. Whatevs.
~
I was led to believe that I was friends with certain people. So, when one of these people told me of a dilemma, I sympathized. Against the better judgement I'd had for the past few months. But then they decided to go and blame me for their incident because, apparantly, I'm an 'asshole and a stoner.' Hahah! Wow... Obviously that person is the asshole and stoner, 'cuz they're blatantly being a fucker, and obviously very misled in what they believe. Whatever. This is why I drop these kinds of people from my life. Anyone with 'em--- Don't need it. I'm not a part of this ridiculous drama anymore. It's nice to see you people from time to time; I have no part of your lives. You don't want me in them, I don't want to be in them, we're all good.
~
In other news--- I'm having a spectacualr life! :D I've got alot of cool friends down here at college! I've been gettin' some good hours in for work, regardless of the bullshit that happens in that department of my life. I'm gettin' back up there with my homework.. :P Aaaaand.... Of course---
~
~
Shelbi [: Idk... She's just so... wonderful. She's so perfect for me. She's a normal person. She's just like everyone else, except that she's just like me ^.^ More than anyone I've ever met.. Even Elias!! :o I know, right?? But yes. Her and I get closer EXPONENTIALLY everyday. We talk about everything on our minds.. Even when I don't wanna talk about things.. When Zoey and I dated, she would always ask me what was wrong and I would NEVER tell her, but... I dunno.. I feel like I can just trust Shelbi not to get upset or think I'm stupid or anything like that!!! Everything between her and I is absolutely incredible. I've never felt so right with someone in my life before [: Coincidentally--- Since I first met Shelbi, I've never felt like I belonged with someone more than her. Which!!! Brings me to a nice revelation!
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Zoey Groman. As most know, I was completely caught up in her. In honesty, though, alot of things happened during that relationship. Things that no one knows about. 'Cept for me and Elias. And other people involved. Just 'cuz Elias is the only person I ever told. Not to sound like I went around and just cheated on Zoey or somethin' all over the place. Just. Stuff that truly showed how fuckin' unstable that relationship was. Now, even through all the shit that happened with that chick, I still felt as if I was MEANT to be with her. And, now, I realize I was. Just not meant to be with her INDEFINITELY. If it wasn't for Zoey, I would've never been so perfectly fit for Shelbi [: Zoey got me into alot of things that fit me so well to my darling. Converse, bands, stuff like that. In fact, every MAJOR relationship I've been in, I've felt as if I was MEANT to be with those people. Zoey. Chantelle. Steph. Cassie. Ashley. But, I WAS meant to be with them. I was meant to be with them so they could help me become the person that could fit so well in the end with Shelbi.
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So!! I must say that I am extremely thankful to those people that helped me become who I am!!! Even if one of them absolutely hates me :D Ah well!
Anywho... I've gotta get at least ONE essay out today :P Plus I got my SI for the Soc. Prob. Exam #1 tonight!!!!!!! Gotta be ready for that thing tomorrow!!!
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*Peace*
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'I'll wait for you there, like a stone. I'll wait for you there alone.'
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