Friday, February 19, 2010

Friday, February 5, 2010

The Blazing Glaciers

I've come to a moment of revelation. It occured last night.. I'm not quite sure exactly what's caused this amazing epiphany, but it's the greatest feeling I've ever felt!! :D Allow me to attempt to explain...

This is how my heart started out after I was hurt.. Shattered. Incapable of being repaired. So what was I do? It's not easy going from this feeling to anything humane. So...
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It became this. Frozen. I became cold-hearted. In a sense.. I'm sure plenty of people would testify this. Anyone who did deal with this.. I'm sorry ]: This was probably the single worst time period of my life.. I didn't know who I was, who anyone was. I felt nothing but resentment to the entire world. There was nothing I could do to make this feeling go away.. My heart was totally shut off to the world.. Until... [;
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I met my Shelbi Lynne! :D And suddenly the shell around my heart began to break apart. My defenses against feelings and emotion had been completely torn down.. I started feeling human again.. Of course, I started feeling remorse and regret for the way I'd treated everyone I cared about.. But there really wasn't anything I could do to take all that back was there? No.. /: Of course, I wasn't whole.. Underneath that barrier, my heart hadn't been given room to heal..
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But then it slowly began to [: My heart had been pieced back together and was slowly but most certainly becoming whole again. It was a difficult process... I experienced all those old, paranoid issues; jealousy, selfishness, etc. All the things I'd done in the past to mess up good, stable relationships. I doubted, disbelieved: I didn't deserve what I was receiving, thus, I questioned it... But, before I knew it....
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My heart was burning with love!!! I was utter happiness, more than I'd ever truly experienced before. Shelbi showed me love I'd never been given before in my life. She genuinely liked me and everything I was. She loved all my problems, never got upset when I'd lose control and freak out like in my past.. She put up with alot of paranoia and I finally realized.. I'm not losing this girl. She's mine. All mine [: So where to you go from such a burning love?? What more is there? Love is supposed to be the strongest emotion.. So where do you go from there? Something felt to simple about it just being love.. I had to figure it out.
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Piper and Leo.
Romeo and Juliet.
Zack and Aeris.
Sora and Kairi.
Shawn and Juliet [;
Emil and Malia ;D
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All of those couples seemed to have something more than just love. Something that couldn't truly be only expressed as love. Even more than what some would consider 'true love.' And I knew I'd suddenly found this. It's as if.. My soul was never really with me.. As if Shelbi was the one in possession of my soul, so as long as I didn't have her, I was fully incapable of being complete. Now that we're together, my soul is complete. Side note: Elias has like a copy of my soul. The kind of thing when you realize that someone can truly understand everything about you no matter how different you may seem. That's how I am with both Shelbi and Elias.. It's so strange!! So what is it I found I have with Shelbi??
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My answer:
Transcension!

My heart cannot contain what I'm experiencing. The simple emotion of love doesn't come to close to what I've found. Ever since I talked long ago with Emil, I've searched for this. And somehow I was lucky enough to stumble across this. Everything has fallen into place and I've obtained a higher understanding of everything in my life! All the questions I've had about myself, my relationships, my problems; all solved in the moment of bliss I discovered I was living in. I understand how people can pass away when they're 'one' leaves them in this life. They can't go on without this person because, in an essence, they're one soul existing in two bodies. That's a revelation that not even I am sure of how I just went about explaining. It was a journey through my life and my 'loves' and everything I've gone through.. I remembered everything in an everlasting instant, and finally; Epiphany!!! :D Anyone understand?? Someday I'm sure people can find this in their own time.. Perhaps their time won't even be within their actual lifetime, but at some point in their existence, everyone may find this [:

DKWI.

DKWI.

DKWI.