Deicide

So.. I just spent the last hour of my life preventing 3 guys from my dorm floor from committing suicide. I found this experience quite.. different, for lack of a more qualified term. A year ago, I wouldn't have had cared. I was dealing witht he same situation all 3 of these guys were talking about. A broken heart.

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Why is it, that even if everything else in life is going well, we force ourselves to focus on specific, negative parts of our lives? These guys have plenty of great things going for them: college, intellect, friends, and the kind of guys I'd be jealous of just from their physiques. Yet, still, convinced that the loves they had just lost were the last they'd ever have, they were ready to just give it up. I don't know.. Here was my struggle---

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I didn't know what to say to them. How was I to justify that they could love again? I'd been in their very places, further even. I attempted suicide multiple times, was committed, and still found it difficult to move on with life. I does one change the mind of someone so set that they will never find someone meant for them? Well, if it helps anyone, I didn't have an answer.

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I didn't change their minds about suicide. I just stopped them from doing it. I took their keys, I broke the only will they had left; the will to actually stop everything. I don't have an answer on how to save a life. I'm not a hero or anything.. If anything, I feel like a coward. A coward for not stepping in and telling them to live life.

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Love, in life, is one of the greatest gifts I've ever recieved. I've had a privelege to form relationships with many people, to love them, to be loved in return. To find my special someone. But I can't relate my life to others. Everyone has to go through rough spots at some point. Was I lucky, or unlucky, enough to have had my time earlier than some? It's not as if my life's a breeze now that I've discovered something meaningful in life. I don't even know what I'm trying to say at this point..

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I sit here and see that my life has changed. It's constantly changing. The same is true for everyone in this world. No one truly knows what will happen next, but how we deal with it, that's what makes us who we are. That's what builds us up, or breaks us down. So, when the time comes, how will you deal with life?