The Last Of A Void War

I just keep practicing,

saying goodbye to you

So... It seems like this may be it.. The end of a backless fight that has lasted the past 9-10 months... Between me and Zoey.

Zoey. What else am I supposed to say about Zoey? Since we broke up.. There's just been a tremendous and endless amount of tension between us. Harsh tension. But, within this past week or so, we've kinda been talking. When it started, I was kinda upset, irritated, wondering how we could just move on from everything that has happened, and just attempting to be the best of friends. But now, I don't know.. It feels kinda.. Nice..? Honestly. We're not BEST friends, but it's like we're good friends.. After all the arguments and animosity, I actually feel myself enjoying friendship, with the girl I once believed I'd spend my whole life with.

• 
  
  "I miss talking to you.." -Zoey
  
• 
  
  "Then.. Talk to me..." -Me

It's probably the last thing I expected her to say to me. But, it kinda put a pit inside my stomach. It was just.. Different. In a very familiar way. I'm a contradictory person, if any of you haven't noticed by now. So, basically, for the past couple days, we've been tryin to catch each other on Facebook and stuff.. She came into Culver's the other day while I was working, so I sat in the dining room for a while, 'cleaning' tables and floors and such.. We had a nice chat.. Good laughs.. She told me some serious stuff, and those things, I believe, are what finally got me. I felt that old sympathy for her.. The kind I used to feel when we used to talk about problems going on in each others lives.. Make no mistake! I'm not going to go down that whole road of falling for her again; her and I aren't a pair. I've got my Shelbi now. I'm super content [: But, I just felt for her. I didn't pity her, I sympathized.

Anyway.. Thought I'd just get that out there.. Felt like it was a pretty major, new thing going on.. Other than that.. Not too much lately.. Hoping to find a new job down here so I don't have to travel an hour to work and an hour back everytime, spending 90% of my money on gas.. -_- I'm so in debt at this present juncture... ]: Mreh. Hopefully, I'll get to see Shelbi tomorrow, she was up in Alexandria all weekend so I barely got to even talk to her... /: Bah. Dumb Alexandria school...... :P Anywho.

Time for cool pics!! Commentssss!!! :D On any of this! [:

Making Good Relations, OK?

This is quite possibly

one of the cutest

things ever

:D

So [: Relationships have been strengthened. It's really nice. These people used to be major parts of my life. When they hated me, I simply stopped caring, so it was if they weren't there in my life anymore. But now that BOTH of them have become friends of mine once again, I realize how nice it is to care about them again. Just as friends.. But still.. [:

• Natasha--- She really helped me through a bunch of stuff with Zoey. I really, REALLY liked her. But, everyone thinks I used her, that I was just playing her. Sometimes I think that if maybe that IS what I had done... Then maybe life would've been easier. Idk.. That way, I wouldn't have actually cared, and I wouldn't have been so hurt when people actually started making those accusations.. But whatevs.. It's in the past now [:
• Zoey--- Here's the kicker. Never thought her and I were ever going to talk civilly again. I'm pretty sure her parents still don't even want her talking to me. Understandable. I put her through a bunch of shit before everything blew up. But, we've had our highs and lows since then, and I think everything is finally good again, civility, that is :P

So. I really just want to point out that I'm glad ammends could be made between these two [: That's all... -.-

I really enjoy that ugly duckling.. Idk quite why. It's just incredibly adorable :D I wish I had an actual ugly duckling JUST LIKE that one that I could take care of and raise into a beautiful swan ^.^ Maybe that's how some relationships are. Like these for example. For a while they were really, EXTREMELY ugly-duckling-relationships. But maybe now they can grow and become something beautiful again. Friendship is indeed a beautiful thing [: It makes me happy to have friends. Really happy.

Life just seems to be going really well right now, in general. Friendships being rekindled. Cathcin' up in school. 'Bout to start looking for a job in town so I can actually make decent profit from working. And, as always, Shelbi.

Shelbi.

Shelbi.

Shelbi.

Shelbi Lynne :D I'm so in love with her.. She's got, as stated earlier in a conversation, my thump-thump completely and wholly in her possession now [: It's not even my own anymore. It BELONGS to her [: Everything between us is amazing. No fights, iiiiiincredible physicality, ability to flirt or not flirt and still be completely caught up in one another... ^.^ I honestly couldn't ask for anything, or anyone, better in my life, now or ever.

Anywho. I'm gonna go find a nice movie to enjoy [: Unfortunately, I went to watch my Pirates of the Caribbean: At Worlds End movie, and my DVD wasn't in the case D: Maybe I'll watch Mike's The Number 23 movie.. [: Never seen all of it need something exciting.

Well! Until again!!!

{PEACE}

P.S. - I'd like to re-iterate the point I first made when creating this blog; I would REALLY appreciate feedback, comments, or just a 'I still read your blog' so I know I'm not hopelessly talking [: I just love seeing that I have comments.. Thanks! And now I shall leave you with an interesting thing [:

{{{}{PEACE}{}}}

Again... :P

A video from my favorite podcast; Radio Lab

[Psst... We're watchin' 300 :P]

They Died for Vengeance | | | For the Sake of Revenge, Lead Us to Death

Through the Back.

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Sometimes things never change. Sometimes everything changes. Sometimes it's all the same, changing and the same all at once. I find this hindering to a life. Whatevs.

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I was led to believe that I was friends with certain people. So, when one of these people told me of a dilemma, I sympathized. Against the better judgement I'd had for the past few months. But then they decided to go and blame me for their incident because, apparantly, I'm an 'asshole and a stoner.' Hahah! Wow... Obviously that person is the asshole and stoner, 'cuz they're blatantly being a fucker, and obviously very misled in what they believe. Whatever. This is why I drop these kinds of people from my life. Anyone with 'em--- Don't need it. I'm not a part of this ridiculous drama anymore. It's nice to see you people from time to time; I have no part of your lives. You don't want me in them, I don't want to be in them, we're all good.

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In other news--- I'm having a spectacualr life! :D I've got alot of cool friends down here at college! I've been gettin' some good hours in for work, regardless of the bullshit that happens in that department of my life. I'm gettin' back up there with my homework.. :P Aaaaand.... Of course---

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Shelbi [: Idk... She's just so... wonderful. She's so perfect for me. She's a normal person. She's just like everyone else, except that she's just like me ^.^ More than anyone I've ever met.. Even Elias!! :o I know, right?? But yes. Her and I get closer EXPONENTIALLY everyday. We talk about everything on our minds.. Even when I don't wanna talk about things.. When Zoey and I dated, she would always ask me what was wrong and I would NEVER tell her, but... I dunno.. I feel like I can just trust Shelbi not to get upset or think I'm stupid or anything like that!!! Everything between her and I is absolutely incredible. I've never felt so right with someone in my life before [: Coincidentally--- Since I first met Shelbi, I've never felt like I belonged with someone more than her. Which!!! Brings me to a nice revelation!

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Zoey Groman. As most know, I was completely caught up in her. In honesty, though, alot of things happened during that relationship. Things that no one knows about. 'Cept for me and Elias. And other people involved. Just 'cuz Elias is the only person I ever told. Not to sound like I went around and just cheated on Zoey or somethin' all over the place. Just. Stuff that truly showed how fuckin' unstable that relationship was. Now, even through all the shit that happened with that chick, I still felt as if I was MEANT to be with her. And, now, I realize I was. Just not meant to be with her INDEFINITELY. If it wasn't for Zoey, I would've never been so perfectly fit for Shelbi [: Zoey got me into alot of things that fit me so well to my darling. Converse, bands, stuff like that. In fact, every MAJOR relationship I've been in, I've felt as if I was MEANT to be with those people. Zoey. Chantelle. Steph. Cassie. Ashley. But, I WAS meant to be with them. I was meant to be with them so they could help me become the person that could fit so well in the end with Shelbi.

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^.^

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So!! I must say that I am extremely thankful to those people that helped me become who I am!!! Even if one of them absolutely hates me :D Ah well!

Anywho... I've gotta get at least ONE essay out today :P Plus I got my SI for the Soc. Prob. Exam #1 tonight!!!!!!! Gotta be ready for that thing tomorrow!!!

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*Peace*

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'I'll wait for you there, like a stone. I'll wait for you there alone.'

Monster And A Transfer [Struck Down]

Well. Here it is. The new blog [: Feels like a new home, or a new friend. I find this particularly fitting considering I've moved on to so many new things in my life. College, friends, lifestyles, Shelbi... [: Ahh.. This feels fresh. It feels good. Great.. Spectacular :D

I find moving on always must include moving AWAY from things as well. This is a secondary reason of why I had chose to put in a new blog. I've done so in order to move away from stupid bitches and whores that were deciding to read my blog, somewhat religiously in an extremely creepy and annoying way, and then proceeding to blog about me themselves, making uneducated biases of me, or trying to interpret my blog as applying to them, though none of them were any concern to me. These people used to be people I cared for; old friends. But they all changed. Whatevs. I've got so many new people now ^.^

Shelbi; Teheh... [:

Brian; He's a real rad guy I have in a couple of my theater classes, a fellow Theater Major

Mike; A real bad-ass guy of a roommate

Aannd plenty of other new people! ^.^

Anywho... As promised (how many times now?) my NEXT post shall consist of my labor day weekend and other fun things [:

BTW--- I'd really, really, REALLY appreciate it if people would comment on my posts.. [: I won't be all drastic and stuff and demand people like, comment on EVERYTHING, but it's just really nice getting input and other such things from people, letting me know what they think of things [: So, if any of you ever feel like commenting.. PLEASE do! :D

A'ight. Nazi Zombie time [;

Peaceeee